What the F**k?!

This week's Billboard Hot 100 singles chart has a rather unusual feature--three songs within the top 10 that include the f-word in the title, making it the most profane top 10 ever. Profanity in popular music is certainly not something new, but shouting it so prominently by making it part of the title isn't exactly commonplace for major mainstream hits.

The trend started last summer when Cee Lo Green released his rather shockingly titled "F**k You!," which, although it caused a few hands to clutch the pearls, has ultimately turned into a major international smash due to its memorable, cheeky premise. Then more recently, P!nk's greatest hits set's second single, "F**kin' Perfect" became a major hit, almost at the same time as Enrique Iglesias's "Tonight (I'm F**kin' You)."

Now I'm no prude and I've certainly never been a fan of musical censorship, but this degree of foul-tongued songwriting has even me feeling a bit school marmish. Dropping the f-bomb is supposed to add particular emphasis, but if it's this common now, does it lose some of that power?

The extent to which the f-word in these songs is resonant depends a bit on its use, which, in the case of these songs is different for each word. The f-word is a remarkably flexible term, embodying clear and varying meanings even within its verb, noun and adjectival forms.

It's most obvious form is as a verb to indicate coitus, which is how it's used in the Iglesias song. This use is considered obscene and frankly, most people I know when they use the f-word, it isn't in this manner. As such, the Iglesias song as actually the most offensive of the lot. I would definitely recommend avoiding having it play on your office iPod speakers.

When used as a command, as in Green's song, the f-word doesn't seem as obscene, although it is still clearly vulgar. Although technically this is still a coitus usage, I doubt most people think of it that way, and mean it just to say "I really don't like you" but in a nastier way.

P!nk's use of the f-word is adjectival, purely to provide extra emphasis, and as such doesn't really mean anything. Consequently, her use of the f-word in "F**kin' Perfect" is the least vulgar, although it is also the least meaningful.

Being as they are commercial-minded pop singers, all three of these songs showed up in radio friendly versions: "Forget You," "Tonight (I'm Loving You)," and simply "Perfect" (any airplay chart that claims stations are playing "F**k You!" instead of "Forget You" is lying). In these sanitized forms "Perfect" suffers the least, since frankly, the f-word serves little purpose in that song. "Tonight" becomes a typical pop music come on, rather than a really slutty one. But "Forget You," while fun, is a shadow of the greatness of "F**k You," since here the contrast of the sweetly retro melody and a sharp profanity serve the song well--a contrast that disappears with "Forget You," making the song's protagonist sound weak and undeserving of the woman he has been pursuing.

The moral of all this, if there is one, is that if you're going to drop an f-bomb in a pop music song and expect me to like, you'd better make it count. Otherwise, I'll be seeking out a more office friendly version.

Singles Serving

Britney Spears - Hold It Against Me. Britney's new single arrived this week, and I'm pleased to say that it's pretty fantastic. The song uses a cliched double entendre that's really an old joke "if I told you I wanted your body, would you hold it against me?" He he he indeed, but with the dance beat as hot as this, who cares. With Max Martin and Dr. Luke behind the studio dials, Spears has crafted her clubbiest single yet.

Avril Lavigne - What the Hell. Also returning with a new single this week is Avril Lavigne, who has been absent for almost 4 years now. It's not bad, but it's not a knockout. It's nod to retro-'60s-via-retro-'80s smacks of a repeat of what she did with "Girlfriend," a clear homage to Toni Basil's "Mickey." This adheres to that formula very closely. Like Britney's "Hold It Against Me" this is also co-produced by Max Martin, along with Shellback. The album, Goodbye Lullaby, is due in early March.

P!nk - F**kin' Perfect. For the second single from her fall greatest hits set, P!nk turns to a pretty rockin' ballad that should be another slam dunk for her. Oh, and as if he wasn't getting enough business, this is also produced by Max Martin (along with Shellback).

Grenade - Bruno Mars. This single gets its UK release this week and looks on track to be the #1 single this weekend. It's darker than "Just the Way You Are," and almost just as good. It is not produced by Max Martin, but rather by Mars himself along with two other guys.

Album Review: Pink - Funhouse (4.5 / 5)

"So What," the first single from Pink's new album Funhouse may start with a playground rant (na na na na) and continue with her propensity to namecheck celebs she doesn't like (this time its a table-stealing Jessica Simpson), but those antics are a foil for the darker side Pink sometimes unveils throughout this 12-song set that chronicles her recent divorce from Carey Hart. "So What" is fun and upbeat--a typically great pop/rock track from pink in the "U + Ur Hand" vein. It shows Pink trying to cover the pain of the breakup by bolding declaring "so what, i'm still a rock star, i got my rock moves, and i don't need you."

That tune quickly changes through the questioning "Sober," another awesome track, upbeat but with a somber strings arrangement. Following that, the realization of the pain breaks through on the most lovely ballad Pink has ever recorded, "I Don't Believe You." It's a tender, vulnerable piece with a lush backing of guitar and strings. These opening three songs capture perfectly why Pink is such a great and under appreciated pop artist. "So What" has her in "don't mess with me" rock mode, "Sober" is the more reflective Pink, and "I Don't Believe You" reveals her damaged inner self. All three would make great singles ("So What" has already become Pink's first song to top both the US and UK singles charts since her "Lady Marmalade" collaboration.)

"One Foot Wrong" is a dark rocker that explores paranoia from a bad choice (perhaps a bad drug experience?). "Please Don't Leave Me," is a good mid-tempo guitar pop number--like "Since U Been Gone" but with not quite as killer a chorus. Like "So What" and "I Don't Believe You," it's produced by Swedish superproducer Max Martin, who along with Billy Mann and Butch Walker helm most of the songs here. In a Pink first, she's used the same collaborators as she did last time on I'm Not Dead, her "comeback," after the relative flop of her third album Try This!

"Bad Influence" is a stomping track with a party strut that takes a break from the divorce story line to booze it up with friends. The story returns on "Funhouse," another upbeat romp that uses the carnival funhouse as a metaphor for her doomed relationship--"this used to be my funhouse, but now it's full of evil clowns." It's the most uptempo song of the album's second half, which is surprisingly heavy with ballads. Folksy "Crystal Ball" is the first of them, a stripped down "this is your life" kind of song with just acoustic guitar and vocals, including backing vocals by the song's producer, Billy Mann. Then there's "It's All Your Fault," which picks up tempo dramatically about halfway through for a rock out ending. Last track, "Glitter in the Air," is also kind of folksy, a piano ballad providing a bittersweet climax to the album. It tries to be poignant ending, but doesn't quite achieve that.

Countrified "Mean" is probably the highlight of the second half. The piano and guitar swagger of the song suits Pink well. Plus divorce is a subject that fits country well (ask a country fan, they will agree). Beyonce's new album contains a track called "Ave Maria" inspired by the classic aria; no such inspiration for Pink's "Ave Mary A," a curious track that starts out with a dark guitar and piano melody and then pumps up the rock guitars for the chorus.

I didn't buy Funhouse the week it came out, thinking I'd prefer the Snow Patrol and Girls Aloud albums more. Boy was I wrong, and I'm glad my partner surprised me with it last weekend. Funhouse is probably Pink's best album to date; it's certainly her most consistent--there isn't a bad track here, and several should serve adequately to continue her current streak of hit singles.

Best: So What, Sober, I Don't Believe You, Mean, Bad Influence, Please Don't Leave Me

Fall Music Preview - October

Album of the Month: Keane - Perfect Symmetry (10/13) They've been around since just 2004 and already Keane are poised to release their third album. They fell prey a bit to the dreaded sophomore slump for Under the Iron Sea--great album, but not as successful as the band's debut Hopes and Fears, the UK's second best-selling album of 2004. Known for their piano-backed guitarless pop/rock, the first singles from this album, "Spiralling" and "The Lovers Are Losing," already point to a new and exciting direction, heavy with synths and even featuring electric guitar.

Oasis - Dig Out Your Soul (10/6) Oasis's career has been a bit rollercoaster. Lately its been on the up though, so I'm hopeful this, their seventh album, will be really great. Last album, Don't Believe the Truth, gave us the great singles "Lyla," "The Importance of Being Idle," and "Let There Be Love," and this new album has already produced an upbeat first single, "The Shock of the Lightning" and the dark album cut currently offered by iTunes "Falling Down."

Snow Patrol - A Hundred Million Suns (10/27) Until 2004, Snow Patrol were a little-known band. Then their third album Final Straw produced a major UK hit, "Run," and then their fourth album Eyes Open, which was the best-selling album in the UK in 2006, produced an even bigger international smash, "Chasing Cars." The album's first single, "Take Back the City," gets its UK radio premiere next week.

Kaiser Chiefs - Off with Their Heads (10/13) Another band that had a bit of a sophomore slump (although they did hit #1 with "Ruby") is back for album number three. This time they've enlisted hot retro soul producer Mark Ronson (Amy Winehouse) to steer their sound in a new direction. First single "Never Miss a Beat" is a great start.

Pink - Funhouse (10/27) Pink is back with her fifth album. It's first single "So What" finds the singer in her usual punkish pop/rock vein, and already it's a massive hit, debuting in the top 10 of the Billboard Hot 100 and the Australian ARIA chart this week. Max Martin, who helmed her last album's two major hits "U + UR Hand" and "Who Knew" produces the track.

Chris Cornell - Scream (10/14) Timbaland produced--no joke. First single "Long Gone" is, as expected, a bit reminiscent of OneRepublic's "Apologize" from last year. From Nelly Furtado, to Justin Timberlake, to Madonna, Timbaland is positively the hottest producer in popular music right now, if not this whole decade. Struggling has-beens everywhere are selling their souls to have him produce their next hit, although he doesn't seem to be as good at launching new artists (see Nicole Scherzinger).

Bloc Party - Intimacy (10/27) The British indie band offers their third album. Already available as a download, the CD gets its release in late October with a few bonus tracks. First track "Mercury" sounds a lot like their previous stuff.

High School Musical 3 Soundtrack (10/20) With the Disney gang hitting the big screen for outing #3, this is sure to be one of the best-sellers of the year, considering that HSM1 was the best-selling album in the US for 2006 and HSM2 was #2 for 2007.

Sugababes - TBD (10/20) The 'babes stumbled a bit with their fifth album Change, which scored only one major hit (the #1 "About You Now") and became their first album not to have a fourth single. The jury's still out on first single "Girls," which features a lot of horns.

John Legend - Evolver (10/28) Soulful R&B singer John Legend puts out his third album. First single "Green Light" finds him teamed with Outkast's Andre 3000, exploring a more modern sound than we've heard from him before. Then there's the more traditional "If You're Out There," which he performed at the Democratic National Convention.

Sophie Ellis-Bextor - TBD (10/27) Her fourth album, with songs produced by Calvin Harris (including the Cathy Dennis-penned first single "Off and On," which is on her myspace page) and Freemasons. After the underwhelming performance of her third album, Sophie needs a hit.

Peter Bjorn & John - Seaside Rock (10/6) Swedish Indie band that had a hit last year with "Young Folks" offers their fourth album.

Razorlight - TBD (10/27) Not much info on this yet, other than it's possibly coming in October.

Other:

Anastacia - Heavy Rotation (10/27)
Ludacris - Theater of the Mind (10/21)
Of Montreal - Skeletal Lamping (10/6)
Hoobastank - Untitled (10/14)
Boyzone - Greatest Hits (10/13)
Jennifer Lopez - Greatest Hits (10/27)
Sarah McLachlan - Closer (greatest hits) (10/7)
Katie Melua - The Collection (10/27)