Perhaps it's because I have a few margaritas in me, but I found Channel 4's Michael Baggs' music blog critique of the cover of Celine Dion's latest single, "Taking Chances," to be quite funny. Original here, reprint here:
Ten things we find frightening about this picture:
1. That hair. It's less of a 'style' and more of an 'assault'. It looks as if she could walk away and it would stay where it was. Either that or she has unsuccessfully attempted to re-wire her house.
2. That crooked arm. That is not a position arms naturally find themsleves in.
3. The absence of a second arm. Really, where is it? Perhaps she's inviting fans to draw in an arm of their choosing.
4. That pose. She couldn't look more uncomfortable if she had her fist in her mouth and one foot behind her head. Is her right leg resting on an invisible Chihuahua?
5. It's completely grey. Even her skin is grey. How does skin become grey?
6. She looks like she could do with some dinner. As usual.
7. Although saying that, despite her slight frame she still couldn't find a jacket that fits.
8. She did manage to find some trousers to fit, although when was the last time you saw anyone wearing flares? Celine's obviously so excited by the return of the Happy Mondays she's spearheading the baggy revival.
9. That little boob is dangerously close to putting in an unwanted appearance - which would be like catching your nan getting out of the bath.
0. We cannot help but wonder what 'chances' Celine is taking on the new album? Other than threatening to get her little boob out, we would guess the answer to that question is 'very few'.
However, saying all that, the 'Taking Chances' single is quite good. It's an understated mid-tempo ballad and has nothing to do with great big boats crashing into floating slabs of the arctic. Hurrah!
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